10 tips for film festival attendants:


1) Get a map. Know where things happen. They never happen in the same place.

2) Find the place where wifi works. Some film festivals are so focused on films that sometimes forget the basics.

3) Do not pay for foods. Try to get invited, try to snitch, make friends. But do not pau for food.

4) Pay for drinks. You will get invited by the organization. You will feel as a film-star even if you just shoot a short where your grandma smiles. But once the free boozer is over, you must keep on.

5) Schedule. Most of the people want to watch the same movies. The ten good ones. The other ones are there just to fill space. So be fast or be extreme but get the tickets you need to take.

6) Go to conference, lectures and presentations. And leave before the Q&A starts.

7) Drink coffee all day. You will drink from 20h on. And you need to get up early so keep it warm (specially in festivals in the north) and awake.

8) Have easy conversations. It is exhausting. It is repetitive. But avoiding to have the classic backpacker conversation (where are you from, do you like anal sex, etc.) will not make you better than those surrounding you. Misanthropy is not anymore trendy.

9) If you are lucky be close to beautiful woman. It does not matter if you are married. It does not matter if she is lesbian. Old rich producers and commissioners love hot women as much as everybody else. They, for sure, have to know about what they are taling.So do not bother in hiring a cheerleader in order to get a contract for BBC.

10) Come back. First year you are nobody. Second year you say hello to lots of people. On the third year you are Fucking Ford Coppola. And you don’t even have to bother anymore about making films.


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